The Week After the Stray

Every time we had a small argument, disagreement - whether I was right or wrong. Or a passionate moment in our innocent relationship it was not uncommon for a light to burn out. The weeks before the stray we blew out a number of bulbs.

When she would lie about her whereabouts when she was f***ing Justin, bigger things where breaking. The Friday night when she lost her innocence swearing to me she was at that empty intersection when I called her - her computer died.

I took pride of being the fix-it person of the house. But when the resident gremlin broke something as a result of her strays I would strangely have no desire to fix it. I would look at it in disgust, with a sickening feeling almost overwhelming. The computer had a memory error - it would no longer read both slots, just one or the other. Making it functional again the computer lost half its memory.

That Tuesday night she came back a different very person. Sometimes I wish I could go back to Chris's house and try to find her. A new sexual awareness had taken place. The lil corny sex jokes that once flew over her head began to hold gravity. I would lay next to her and minutes later discover she had NOTHING on from the waist down. Much more open to fool around.

She wasn't just a lair, she was an evil lair. She would push guilt trips for knowing something was wrong. She would gain confidence in switching the players around. I initially thought Chris was the primary person she was screwing. She was obsessed with him, his camera, his charm. But it was his buddy Justin.

Or months later after being rejected from this circle she would flirt with an older guy name Mark, frequently. I knew she was seeing somebody, I thought it was Mark - but it was really a guy name Will. This is how she cheats, and knows you don't know because you just don't have the players right.

A week later I helped her up off the floor and noticed her hip bone was slightly bigger. My heart fell back to the floor and started another fight. What kind of person did I think she was, she would say. She would involve her family into it. She had a very innocent reputation with her family at the time. They wouldn't listen, I didn't even bother.

But one fight after another things of great importance - things she valued would suddenly break, or go missing. Jewelry, her pink I-pod, her phone and computer would constantly break. She would deny it was related - but it was no longer unnoticeable. Has anyone else been in a relationship with a chronic cheater and noticed every time they would lie, and cover it up by blanketing you with guilt or anger or rage something of great value of theirs breaks?

Je t'aime idiot