When these events were transpiring, how do you explain to a 5-6 year old what is going on. From the beginning, when I was a child my mother would explain everything to me to the best of her ability - in detail that I would understand. Looking back, she was very accurate. I did the same with my son.
Gav took to Dara like no other. He wouldn't call her 'Mommy' but referenced her to his friends as his mother (like, "You better be nice to me, that's my Mommy"). I'm not clear as to how the abandonment of both Dara and his mother will affect him as he continues to develop. He has his own feelings, thoughts, and opinions. Don't let the age of 6 deceive you - they are very much little people. He was able to deal with the neighborhood kids when they realized she was gone, they would call him a liar... he swallowed it and changed the subject. Maybe the girl did teach him a few good tricks of the trade.
As I would attempt to run in my head how to explain to Gav what is going on, he asks - and was able to comprehend from his own various social settings from school and daycare what Dara's motives were. I didn't even have to go into depth that she was 'Kissing' other guys . He understood that daddy couldn't just hang around while she kissed other guys and wanted to be with other guys for their cool cars and money. Daddy just didn't have that being a single parent.
There were 2 occasions where Dara would attempt to manipulate Gav. Once starting a fight in her basement. At the end Gav was adamant, "She didn't do it daddy!" Over and over... I would ask him what Dara didn't do and he wasn't able to answer me, just that she didn't do it. This is how persuasive she is.
The second time was she wanted to tell Gav this wasn't her fault. Yeah, my inability to cope with you taking nights out screwing Jacksonville repeatedly was not your fault? She didn't realize that by saying it wasn't her fault - she was trying to imply it was mine? It's my fault she isn't around anymore?
He brought her up today. We were going to install one of those fake rocks on the windshield of her car. He expressed anger over how she hurt daddy. I'm not clear if he is angry because of her actions that hurt daddy, or her sudden absence. I told her that if we were unable to work out she could still have a relationship with my son. However she wanted to use him as a little pawn. Should I have allowed this?
Je t'aime idiot
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